3.23.2013

To Paint or Not To Paint?

I am a painter...or maybe I should say I have been a painter.  I spent many years painting anything that would pay so that I could help make a living for my family.  I was really great at painting.  I could paint anything I really wanted to paint. I painted from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed.  I painted around my family activities.  There wasn't really any down time for me because when there wasn't something else going on then, I painted.  That continued on for several years.  There was always someone who wanted me to paint something for them whether it was their house, their walls, their grandmother's bowl, their face, their furniture, their shirt, etc.  I can not think of a surface that I have not painted on.  I even painted on my car once (to my husband's shock lol).  Hours and hours and hours...which led to days and months and years of painting.

Then one day I was tired and I laid my brushes down. I went an entire year without painting anything at all. Then, I began to paint a few things again but not much and only for my own projects.  That has pretty much been how it has been the past 10 years.  Only painting for my own projects and never on a regular basis.

Lately, I have been dreaming of painting again.  I have been reading books about it, taking classes on it, reading blogs about it, and I have even purchased the supplies needed to start again. There is even an art council getting organized in my town and groups are being organized as I write.  I have the studio, the supplies, the ideas, everything I would need except...I don't know why but, I can not seem to propel myself into that studio to get started.  It is kind of like some kind of painter's block I guess. It isn't the blank canvas, it isn't lack of skill, it isn't fear, it isn't even desire.  I truly don't know what it is that stops me.  The same thing has been happening in regards to my garden.  I have always had passion, ideas, energy, everything I need to make my garden as beautiful as possible within our budget.  This year, however, I have let several gorgeous spring days go past...I just do not feel like doing it.

What is wrong with me?  There is no crisis, there is no lack, no stress, no illness, or anything else that would stop me.  I don't have any problem getting my camera out and taking pictures, I don't have any problem blogging.  No problems taking care of my animals, or doing housework, but two of the things that I love doing, I just don't seem to be able to get it done lately.  Whatever it is, I hope it passes soon because Spring is here and it is time to get into the garden and those supplies are calling out to me daily..."lets paint something beautiful."  Sigh....does anyone out there have any ideas?  Has this happened to you?  What should I do about it if anything?  Will it pass?  I sure hope it passes soon.

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