10.05.2012

What Happened?


What Happened? My journey to creative business

I was happily bumping along in life when one day I passed by a store window. OMG, what happened? I had looked in the mirror that morning when getting ready & things were as usual or at least I thought so. Either the mirror was lying or the window was. (does your mirror lie too?) Everything was headed south. The tire in the middle was much larger, the skin on my face was not as smooth as I remembered, & the clothes that had looked so good that morning, did not look good at all; and what is that thing under my chin? It looked like it was time for some serious action on my part.

 I needed to evaluate myself honestly & do something about it. I don't mind being in my late 40's I just don't want to look or feel that way; at least not yet. These thoughts then quickly led to realizing that life was passing me by and I had not achieved all the things that I truly wanted to do in my life.  

I had always known that I was designed and called to live a life of creativity.  I didn't know exactly how that was supposed to look, but I knew it hadn't happened yet. I had been so busy making a living, raising children, paying the bills, and going about life as usual that I had forgotten my dreams..dreams of living a life of creativity,  a life that encourages others to live their dreams, a life that teaches others how. (Yes, it was probably a bit of a mid life crisis) 

I had been painting, painting a lot but not the art that was in my spirit to paint, no it was what I knew would sell to the public and make a quick buck to pay those bills that seemed like mountains. I had even helped to put my dear hubby through PA school so that he could become a Physician's Assistant with my painting but I had squashed the whispers of my spirit down and I had mindlessly painted and made the things the world paid me to paint until I had worn myself down and actually laid my brush down. I thought I just needed a respite and so I turned to my home I spent much time and energy working to decorate my home  perfectly with just the right things of beauty that I thought would make the difference to my spirit.  It was beautiful but did it really matter?   

My children mattered but they were now grown and had for the most part flown the coop..."What now?" This was the question that begged to be answered.  I then turned to writing blogs, I knew I had something to say and so I set myself on a course of blogging.  Before I knew it I had 4 blogs and was ghost writing another.  I wrote many beautiful posts, I learned how to take beautiful photos, I learned much about designing blogs and websites but still something deep down still begged to be heard. Something that I was afraid to hear because what if I can not measure up?  What if I fail?  What if no one else likes it?  Who did I think I was...I didn't have a degree in anything so no one would take me seriously?  Why should I try yet another business?  Wouldn't it just end like all the others with me worn out and just tired of doing it?   

That is when suddenly I received an email announcing that a class I had long wanted to take (but put off until later) was being given for the last time.  It was now or never so I signed up for Kelly Rae Robert's class called Flying Lessons: Tips and Tricks to Help Your Creative Biz Soar.  That day began a new journey in my life...a journey of how to live my dreams, how to face my fears and embrace the life that I am designed by God to live.  

That is what this blog is about.  It has all the posts from my other blogs because that is where I came from and all of that brought me to this day.  I decided to merge all my blogs into one for several reasons but the most important reason is that all these bits and pieces make up the story that is my life (who knew that catching a glimpse of myself in a store window would lead to all this?). It is time for me to gather all the bits and pieces up and let God weave them together for all to see.  It is time for me to be me.  I don't know how it will look.  I don't know if I will paint again or where it will lead, I just know that I need to go on this journey and discover where it will lead.  Come along with me on this journey to living the dream...


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8 comments:

Su said...

You write beautifully. And let me tell you that it is much better to look in that window at 40 than it is at 64. Fly girl!
Su Hayes

Vickie said...

Congratulations on taking your leap of faith...the path will appear and you will find your way...keep going...God has a plan.

FlowerLady said...

Wishing you well in all areas. I look forward to this new blog of yours and being inspired.

FlowerLady Lorraine

Sophi Belle said...

Merging the blogs was a great thing to do. Good luck! :)

Strawberry....Lizabeth...Shake said...

What an inspiration. I also have been wanting to spread my wings and try a different path with my art. Just at the right time I found out about some workshops in my area. I will continue reading your blog and look forward to expanding my talents.

Indigene said...

What a wonderful blog post! I know that feeling too, but I'm happy you're realizing it and allowing yourself to reblossom! :)

janice smith said...

Oh my goodness! So many of the things you wrote about here could have come straight from my journal! Best of luck to you!

Kate Langlois said...

Debra-Thank you for expressing so beautifully in this post your journey right now-I can relate on many levels! Love your new Blog-Congrats!-Kate